Being away from one’s family causes mental, emotional, and financial hardships. The trials that one’s family goes through to keep the family together may go unseen and unheard by many who don’t understand the importance of family dynamics. But through it all, day-in and day-out, they somehow manage to keep struggling to maintain as well as elevate their family ties with their loved ones who are many miles away from them. When it comes to family, the utmost respect and reverence has to be given despite how things may be. When we can come together as one, the foundation in which our families are built upon will never be severed.
The relationships that we have or try to create with someone should be done on the principles of honesty and patience which inevitably over a period of time will produce trust and unconditional support. When we start to believe that our significant other is in our lives for the sole purpose of pleasure, we are then devaluing the true worth of who he or she is. In order for us to grow together in time – communication and understanding has to be planted within the relationship in order to gain a better insight into each other.
When we are dishonest with one another, the pillars or mainstay that is holding the relationship together will begin to wane and eventually will fall apart. So, for us to help demystify the misconceptions that relationships can’t be built while we are away from one another, we have to be more than willing to work hard at developing the right ingredients, such as: (1) communication; (2) honesty; (3) trust; (4) patience; and (5) consideration. In this manner we will be able to sustain our friendship/relationships while being yet away from each other.
Family is clearly defined as a social unit that is comprised of man, woman and their offsprings. Family is extremely important because it gives us balance, warmth, support and motivation in dire times. When the base of the family starts to weaken due to the lack of love, guidance and sustenance that is needed in every family, it then becomes unproductive to a certain degree, especially to one’s self and the global community at hand.
Those within our families -- such as our mothers, sisters, grandmothers and wives -- play a major role in the development of our all around well being. But the most critical aspect of female/male relationships is when we can construct a proper setting where both parties can gravitate towards each other in harmony that will not demoralize into repulsive behavior or language.
But so many women today are very much disappointed with the relationships that they are presently in. In truth, many of us (men) have created an optical illusion (in our minds) that says, “We should misuse and abuse our significant other.” And many of us get this false sense of understanding of what a man is from many mediums – especially from television, where a number of women are portrayed in a deviant manner. And, in turn, we sustain this false sense of understanding by our actions and at1titude towards women. This is one of the main reasons why society is on the brink of failure. If our attitude and behavior does not begin to change for the better and we do not atone for the wrongs we’ve committed towards ourselves, family, and our significant other, then we cannot expect this world to become better.
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Friday, June 22, 2007
THE FACE OF FATHER'S DAY: MR. WILLIAM M. WESTON
The face of Father’s Day for incarcerated fathers has been a day that has been faceless, as our incarceration has separated us from our children. There is really no cause for celebration, as we fathers seem to be living to the beat of a different drummer. We have caused so much pain and agony that we have laid a path of confusion and hurt which has been misunderstood as a sign of betrayal.
It pains me when I look around and see the number of fathers who are away from their children. We as a whole are missing portions of their lives, which we will never be able to relive. Their lives go on without us as we’re not father figures but figures of a father silhouetted in a shadowy existence.
In the past some of us have been called “deadbeat dads” amongst other names but we’re not a defeated lot. The time has come to take the reins of responsibility and become role models and not models who “roll out”.
We should start using Father’s day as a day of reflection, looking in the mirror and seeing the tears in our children’s eyes. Tears longing to see the faces of their fathers, not a picture painted by someone else. When will we begin to start restructuring our lives with more than words of broken promises?
As I look around the fathers have no faces as the pain of our situation echoes in a steely reality. The faces are all the same with no definition of color on a day in which most of us aren’t living the examples of some of our own fathers. Mothers are now fathers facing an unknown future as we have single-handedly blurred our children’s perception of fatherhood. They deserve better but for some we will never see or realize the emotional damage we have caused.
It’s a double- edged sword of disappointment as at times I wonder how we could ever show our faces because at some point we all knew better. Our situation is a selfish one and we have to realize that there is more to life than just self especially since it’s just “US” here.
We have created a prison for our children as they’re sentenced to days and years of not knowing their fathers while phone calls and letters aren’t enough to ebb the pain of understanding why Daddy isn’t home and why mommy is calling him anything but Daddy!
There are many positives that can arise from our situation we can become inspirational and influential individuals for our children and families, however the steps won’t be easy. We can start by thinking and living the fact that everyday is “Father’s Day”, being a father isn’t a part-time occupation, it is full-time dedication to the ones we love and who love us. Once this takes place a positive picture will begin to form and all the “Wanted” posters will be for the love of our children and the “Reward” will be a lifetime of happiness and interactions, which will be priceless.
# # #
It pains me when I look around and see the number of fathers who are away from their children. We as a whole are missing portions of their lives, which we will never be able to relive. Their lives go on without us as we’re not father figures but figures of a father silhouetted in a shadowy existence.
In the past some of us have been called “deadbeat dads” amongst other names but we’re not a defeated lot. The time has come to take the reins of responsibility and become role models and not models who “roll out”.
We should start using Father’s day as a day of reflection, looking in the mirror and seeing the tears in our children’s eyes. Tears longing to see the faces of their fathers, not a picture painted by someone else. When will we begin to start restructuring our lives with more than words of broken promises?
As I look around the fathers have no faces as the pain of our situation echoes in a steely reality. The faces are all the same with no definition of color on a day in which most of us aren’t living the examples of some of our own fathers. Mothers are now fathers facing an unknown future as we have single-handedly blurred our children’s perception of fatherhood. They deserve better but for some we will never see or realize the emotional damage we have caused.
It’s a double- edged sword of disappointment as at times I wonder how we could ever show our faces because at some point we all knew better. Our situation is a selfish one and we have to realize that there is more to life than just self especially since it’s just “US” here.
We have created a prison for our children as they’re sentenced to days and years of not knowing their fathers while phone calls and letters aren’t enough to ebb the pain of understanding why Daddy isn’t home and why mommy is calling him anything but Daddy!
There are many positives that can arise from our situation we can become inspirational and influential individuals for our children and families, however the steps won’t be easy. We can start by thinking and living the fact that everyday is “Father’s Day”, being a father isn’t a part-time occupation, it is full-time dedication to the ones we love and who love us. Once this takes place a positive picture will begin to form and all the “Wanted” posters will be for the love of our children and the “Reward” will be a lifetime of happiness and interactions, which will be priceless.
# # #
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