DADS BEHIND BARS: MR. PAUL CLEMENTS

For three years now, I’ve been in prison, -- not as an inmate, but as a volunteer. I was asked to mentor a fathers’ support group by an inmate who had read one of my many letters to the editor. That continues to be an interesting and challenging role, but there’s a more interesting parallel that derived from it. Taking their cue from the women’s prison, inmates lobbied the warden for permission to set up a Father/Child Literacy program. In that program, the inmate gets to tape-record a book for his child. Both the tape and the book are sent to the child by prison staff. The inmates are allowed to begin the tape with a short greeting, and close the tape with a moment or two more of personal notes. The volunteer simply monitors the taping sessions. Were it not for the opportunity to “people watch”, it might be a very boring hour. I’ve learned a few things during those “people watching” sessions.

For one thing, many of the fathers who come to read books to their children are poor readers. Some have difficulty with the simple children’s stories they want to read. It’s obvious that their educational level is low. Could that be one of the reasons for their being in prison, I wondered. Could it be, as research has suggested, that our schools fail to hold the interest of males? Do they teach in girl-oriented fashion, that boys find boring? Are boys frustrated by teachers who consider higher male activity rates, and shorter attention spans, abnormal? Is the subject matter they use to teach reading of interest only to girls? Without good reading skills, progress in other subject matters is difficult. Perhaps that’s why so many boys fail, drop out, or simply do not perform to higher standards. With inadequate preparation, higher incomes are beyond their reach. Self esteem is lowered. Perhaps that’s why some turn to crime. No matter, even though they stumble over words, it’s clear that each one of these fathers cherishes the opportunity to read a bed-time story to their child. It gives them a feeling of connectedness, of really being a father, not just a stranger named “Dad”.

One father who stands out in my mind was an older fellow, not as old as I, but older than the rest. His reading ability was so poor that he had to ask for help with many of the words. Although he struggled, he persevered with his reading to the end of the book. As we wrapped up the tape and book for mailing, he explained with some pride that he couldn’t read at all when he entered the prison. He had worked with other inmates to learn, as the prison does not provide reading classes, or education courses at that level. It was heart-warming to know that he had wanted to do that for his child’s sake. His reading that night wasn’t only to entertain and keep in touch with his child, it was his way of telling his child that he cared. The NH state prison does provide high school and college courses, but I was left wondering if they screened for reading skill when a new inmate entered the reception and diagnostic section. Maybe a preliminary reading course would better prepare those inmates for the higher education courses being taught. That might increase their chances of success, and positively effect the recidivism rate at the prison.

Several of the inmates bring guitars to the reading session. They’ll typically begin with a song for the child, and then the book reading. Some are better players than others, but all find an additional connection to their child through music. One fellow in particular stands out, because he usually sings and plays a song of his own creation. Most of the lyrics I’ve heard so far, either express deep feelings or philosophies. They’re well written, and cause me to rue the waste of such a talent. In an effort to improve his self-esteem, and perhaps motivate him to pursue his education, I challenged him to write an essay or commentary on being a father in prison. His reward, his motivation will be the submission of that article for publication. Those musicians are luckier than the others, because the children seem to relish the music more than the story books. It puts me in mind of my own days as a father, singing and playing to my child. Music seems to be a universal language that bonds father and child in a unique way.

Of course, some of the inmate dads are excellent readers. The fellow who got me involved in this program is an excellent example. He’s well read and reads with attention to the tone of the story, adding inflections and voice tones, pausing for theatrical effect, to make the story come alive. Like many of the fathers who come to read, he fills in the story with sound effects; rapping on the table when a character knocks on a door, barking like a dog, making automobile sounds, “whooshing” like the wind. Those fathers with younger children often describe characters in the story, point out their actions, or call attention to details in the illustrations on each page. That helps to involve the child who is too young to read the words. In doing so, it gives the child a love for books and reading. Who knows, one of those children might grow up to be another Shakespeare.

In general, no matter what their educational background or reading ability, all these fathers, and the occasional grandfather, share an abiding interest in their children. They want to remain connected, and treasure this opportunity to do so. As they read, I can see them mentally slipping back to a time when they were at home, sitting on the edge of the child’s bed, reading to them in person. For fifteen or twenty minutes, they feel like real dads again. No wonder then, that most are effusive in their gratitude for the opportunity to participate in this program. One can only hope that by remaining connected, they will be encouraged to resist temptations when they get out, for the sake of their families. It’s really a wonderful program, simple, and cheap. Good for the morale of the inmates, good for their children.
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Mr. Paul Clements is the Founder and President of Dads Against Divorce Discrimination –NH (DADDNH). Visit the organization's website at www.daddnh.org for further information.